Thursday, May 21, 2015

Travel Makes Murder Easy! FREE Advice from Sadie the Sadist

Sadie's Ideal Family Vacation

Hungry for travel? Me too!

Half the planet is heading into summer, and the other half is looking to escape from winter, so now's the perfect time to travel. Get away from work and the daily grind, pack the kids and Grams into the car and take off on the open road ... plus travel offers other advantages you may not have considered. 

Check out Sadie's travel tips:

1. Choose the right destination

Anyone with a wad of cash can plan a vacation to Disneyworld--although the Mouse House offers an awesome selection of tender victims and rides present convenient opportunities for getting rid of that pesky family, security is tight and Disney is high profile, so when little Johnny takes a tumble from Space Mountain, you'll be faced with a nasty backlash of publicity, not to mention a barrage of questions from the police. 

Give Granny a Heart Attack on Space Mountain Roller Coaster
Why not consider a less populated destination? For example: the Mojave Desert, Central Park at night, anywhere in North Dakota.

Camping in the heart of NYC

Room to Run in the Mojave

2. Pack carefully

Don't waste space packing lots of clothes. You won't need them! Instead, make sure your suitcase contains these useful items: duct tape, meat cleaver, Pentobarbital (drug of choice for US executions). Optional: a gun. If you're out in the desert, coyotes will clean up for you, otherwise you may want a plastic tarp. Note: Tupperware is always handy, and I always pack a large cooler with lots of ice.

Don't Over Pack!

3. Get in, get out

Tempting as it may be to stick around and enjoy the aftermath of your little escapade, I advise you to leave the scene as quickly as possible. Thanks to the internet, you can keep tabs on all the action. Now's your chance to get away and enjoy a real vaca!

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