October 19, 2015
Happy Halloweenie Head
A Halloween Treat from Sadie
I'm back!
Did you miss me?
I've been away ... internet access wasn't available. But they let me out for good behavior, just in time for my favorite holiday!
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| Halloweenie Head: Yum! |
Easy Recipe
Ingredients:
1 head (Wimps can use styrofoam, but that crap destroys the environment; I prefer a natural, biodegradable skull)
Two strips of ham (or your favorite lunch meat) for lips
Two maraschino cherries (for bloodshot eyes)
Lots of teeny weenies (enough to cover the head) Store bought or the real thing ... you know which I prefer!
Lots of toothpicks: round, not those flimsy flat things. Note: if you're using a real skull, nails work better--double pointed metal barbs are best, but difficult to find (see note below)
Silver spray paint
Steps:
1) Set up the head, so it won't keel over. You may want to nail it to a board ... this can be a messy job.
2) Prepare your weenies. Boiling makes them plump and fat, but roasting produces a lovely color and intensifies the flavor.
3) If you're using toothpicks, spray them silver. Skip this step if you're using nails, but make sure they're stainless steel, rather than nasty aluminum which causes cancer ... depending on whom you're serving, of course.
4) Secure the weenies to the head, taking care to place them in neat lines. Don't forget to leave room for the eyes and lips. Note If you're using metal barbs, you'll probably stab yourself several times ... not to worry! Blood lends dimension to your creation
5) Stick in the maraschino cherry eyes, unless you have something more authentic handy
6) Fold ham to create and lips and secure with broken toothpicks, so they're hidden. Note: I've tried using real lips, but they're sloppy
7) Invite over ghoulish guests and serve with mustard (Some guests may taste better with the addition of ketchup)
ENJOY!
Who doesn't want to get rid of excess fat? And these days, we all like to economize. Making soap meets both of these needs.
You'll need to heat the fat to 100 degrees fahrenheit and keep it there--some people like to use a crockpot, but I use an electric pan with a built in thermometer.
This recipe makes two pounds of soap, but you can double, triple, quadruple, or quinquagintuple it--of course, you may need a vat.
Stuff You'll Need:
A pot, electric pan, or vat
Goggles
Gloves (also good for avoiding fingerprints.)
Pyrex measuring cup
Kitchen Scale
Paper to measure lye into (or it will eat your scale)
A wooden stick you don't care about
Thermometer
Nonstick bread pan
Note: Make sure you wear long sleeves and pants; lye can melt your skin. (Of course, that may be what you're going for.)
Thermometer
Nonstick bread pan
Note: Make sure you wear long sleeves and pants; lye can melt your skin. (Of course, that may be what you're going for.)
Ingredients:
2 pounds of oil or melted fat (Old folks tend to have more white fat, and more fat in general.)
2 ounces of 100% lye
1 ounce of fragrance (I use Cananga odorata, also known as ylang-ylang.)
Note: I use drain opener, which also serves to wash away those nasty bones and body parts.
Note: I use drain opener, which also serves to wash away those nasty bones and body parts.
Preparation:
Measure 8 oz of water into a pyrex cup.
Wearing goggles and gloves, measure 2 oz of lye into paper on the kitchen scale. (Make sure you use paper, or the lye will eat your scale.)
Carefully mix a little of the lye into the water (never mix the water into the lye--unless you want to destroy something or somebody). The water will start to bubble, become cloudy, and get HOT. Stir with the stick.
Oh yeah: Make sure to open the windows. The chemical reaction of lye and water creates poisonous gas. Of course, that may be your intention--but, in that case, YOU should wear a gas mask.
Set a thermometer into the cup, and let the water/lye mixture cool to 100 degrees F.
Meanwhile, it's time to melt the fat. Bring it to 100 degrees F.
Very slowly and carefully, add the lye mixture to the melted fat. Stir continuously.
Keep stirring.
At this point, add the fragrance. Like I said, I use ylang-ylang, because it makes you horny. Other aphrodisiacs are: rose and jasmine (a bit sweet for my taste) patchouli and sandalwood (nice and musky), and ginger to rev up the energy--always a nice touch.
Don't stop stirring!!! This can take up to a half hour--even more.
Keep stirring. The mixture will start to thicken and little bits of soap begin to form. It also starts to foam--keep stirring. It keeps getting thicker, and the surface becomes shiney. The stick will leave tracks. This is called trace. When it's good and thick, you can stop stirring.
Now you can pour the soap into a mold. A nonstick bread pan works nicely. When I want to make hand soaps, I use my nonstick Madeleine pan.
Let the soap sit overnight, and wrap a towel around it, so it cools slowly.
After 24 hours, remove your soap from the mold and cut it into bars!
To cure: let it sit for 6 to 8 weeks, so the lye is gone and the fat has become soap. (Or use it right away for a great skin peel.)
Time to run a bubble bath.
Note: This recipe was inspired by Leonarda Cianciulli. A very thrifty woman.
Measure 8 oz of water into a pyrex cup.
Wearing goggles and gloves, measure 2 oz of lye into paper on the kitchen scale. (Make sure you use paper, or the lye will eat your scale.)
Carefully mix a little of the lye into the water (never mix the water into the lye--unless you want to destroy something or somebody). The water will start to bubble, become cloudy, and get HOT. Stir with the stick.
Oh yeah: Make sure to open the windows. The chemical reaction of lye and water creates poisonous gas. Of course, that may be your intention--but, in that case, YOU should wear a gas mask.
Set a thermometer into the cup, and let the water/lye mixture cool to 100 degrees F.
Meanwhile, it's time to melt the fat. Bring it to 100 degrees F.
Very slowly and carefully, add the lye mixture to the melted fat. Stir continuously.
Keep stirring.
At this point, add the fragrance. Like I said, I use ylang-ylang, because it makes you horny. Other aphrodisiacs are: rose and jasmine (a bit sweet for my taste) patchouli and sandalwood (nice and musky), and ginger to rev up the energy--always a nice touch.
Don't stop stirring!!! This can take up to a half hour--even more.
Keep stirring. The mixture will start to thicken and little bits of soap begin to form. It also starts to foam--keep stirring. It keeps getting thicker, and the surface becomes shiney. The stick will leave tracks. This is called trace. When it's good and thick, you can stop stirring.
Now you can pour the soap into a mold. A nonstick bread pan works nicely. When I want to make hand soaps, I use my nonstick Madeleine pan.
Let the soap sit overnight, and wrap a towel around it, so it cools slowly.
After 24 hours, remove your soap from the mold and cut it into bars!
To cure: let it sit for 6 to 8 weeks, so the lye is gone and the fat has become soap. (Or use it right away for a great skin peel.)
Time to run a bubble bath.
Note: This recipe was inspired by Leonarda Cianciulli. A very thrifty woman.
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| Mugshot of Leonarda |
!!!
Rockin’ Rocky Mountain Oysters
What are Rocky Mountain oysters? Testicles. Usually the testicles of young bulls, but you can use whatever balls you have on hand, or in hand as the case may be: sheep, lamb, turkey, whomever—keep in mind the younger the testicles the more tender the oysters. Soak the balls in water, peel, and wash. In the olden days, cowboys sat around a campfire and tossed the testicles onto a hot griddle, cooking the balls until they exploded.
Warning: Many cultures say eating genitalia has an aphrodisiac effect, so these oysters may make you horny.
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Ingredients:
2 pounds of testicles
6-pack of your favorite beer. (2 cans for soaking, 4 to drink)
2 eggs, beaten
1 Cup flour
¼ Cup corn meal
Milk
Salt
Pepper
Garlic powder
Canola Oil (or whatever fat you have on hand)
1 Tablespoon hot sauce
Preparation:
If you have time, freeze the testicles—it’s easy to peel them as they thaw. If they’re fresh, you’ll need a sharp knife to cut off the tough muscle. After the balls are peeled, toss them into a bowl of beer for two hours.
Add vinegar into a pot of boiling water. Parboil balls for a few minutes, drain, rinse.
While the oysters cool, mix together eggs, flour, corn meal, salt, pepper, garlic powder. Season oysters with salt and pepper. Roll each oyster in the flour mixture, dunk into milk, then back into flour mixture. For a thicker crust, repeat.
Heat oil in a large pot, add hot sauce. Fry oysters until golden. Drain on paper towels. May be served with hot sauce, cocktail sauce, tartar sauce, or whatever you enjoy.
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