Thursday, September 25, 2014

10 Reasons Long Nights Rock

Advice from Sadie--Embrace Darkness:



If you're a psycho like me, you welcome the longer nights we're drifting into on the northern half of this planet. People often worship light, but I prefer darkness. In the blinding light of day we see what we want to see, but as daylight fades, night reveals what light keeps hidden.



10 Reasons Long Nights Rock

1. Dim light makes everyone look better ... fancy restaurants always have lousy lighting, so your food (and your company) appear more edible.

2. It's fun to sneak up on people and surprise them in places like parking lots, the bike trail, alleyways ... duh.

3. Instead of doing yard work and other chores, you have an excuse to binge watch your favorite shows like Criminal Minds, Deadly Women, and The Walking Dead.

4. If you do decide to do yard work, for example: digging that six foot hole out in the garden, your neighbors won't notice.

5. Your boss will never see what hit him.

6. If you happen to be driving, it's a blast to blind annoying pedestrians.

7. Don't need to worry about sunburn when you're fucking around outside.

8. It's easier to tell if people are at home, especially if they don't use blinds or curtains.

9. You'll blend in when you wear your black ski mask.

10. Bottom Line: night makes everything scarier.





Sunday, September 7, 2014

Sadie's Guide to Catching Killers is Live: Twisted and More Twisted



TA-DAH: 
Sadie is back with a vengeance!

Now, for the first time, the secrets of L'il Sadie's demented childhood are revealed

Available in 2 Versions:

Twisted

Uncut: More Twisted

Description:
Sadie may seem like the girl next door—except she isn’t. At age eight, when Sadie finds Mommy in the bathtub floating in a pool of blood, she becomes obsessed with murder. Sadie’s Guide to Catching Killers is the prekill to Sadie the Sadist: X-tremely Black Humor/Horror, delving into Sadie’s twisted childhood to unravel what makes her the psycho we know and love. The uncut version—the story you’ve got in your hot little hands (X-cept for those of you who happen to be whacking off) is almost as violent and psycho-sexual as Sadie the Sadist, but remember (sick puppies) Sadie is a child and a teenager here, not yet a full blown psychopath like us. (If you’re not fully blown, put down this book and pick up the R rated version.) 

Plus, Advice from L’il Sadie, Self-Help BONUS: 10 Signs Someone is a Low-Life Liar; 10 Ways to Your Dream Confession; 10 Useful Household Poisons, and more! 
Buy it Now:

Amazon     Twisted      UNCUT: More Twisted

B&N           Twisted      UNCUT: More Twisted

(Also available on Smashwords, and soon on iTunes, Kobo, etc.)

L'il Sadie says: 
Great self-help for wanna be psychos 

(Makes a lovely gift for family you want to kill)

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Six Pack of Sleuths: Comedy Mystery

6 Hilarious Mysteries--6 Hilarious Authors: Boxed Set 
.99 cents!

(includes more insanity from Sadie)


Buy it Now!



* * LIMITED TIME OFFER * *

Six Award Winning Bestselling Authors bring you a Six Pack of Sleuths 

for .99 cents

DEATH BY SARCASM
Dani Amore
Mary Cooper, a Los Angeles area private detective who masks her true, caring nature with a razor-sharp, sarcastic sense of humor, learns that her uncle, a former stand-up comedian has been murdered. She is asked to assist in finding the killer by both the police and family members. Mary quickly discovers that her uncle's death was just the opening act for a bloody rampage. As Mary investigates, she exposes a dark and deadly legacy with mysterious links to her own past.

"DEATH BY SARCASM cuts like a knife." ~ Savannah Morning News



MIAMI MUMMIES (Wendy Darlin series)
Barbara Silkstone
The legendary mastermind criminal and mummy thief, Kyzer Saucy, strikes again. Part-time tomb raider and full-time real estate broker, Wendy Darlin joins her lover, archaeologist Roger Jolley as they struggle to save a rare Miami mummy from the clutches of this evil genius. Can Saucy be stopped before he kills again? Meanwhile can Wendy keep her promise to Alfred Hiccup as he attempts to transmigrate from the afterlife? Or has Wendy finally made one promise too many?
This book is an homage to the great Alfred Hitchcock…
who is probably turning over in his grave.

“WENDY DARLIN: A leading lady you love to bits!” ~ Alisha Bookseller


MY PERFECT WEDDING
Sibel Hodge
Helen Grey is finally getting everything she wants. She’s about to have the perfect dream wedding and begin an exciting new life abroad on the sunny Mediterranean island of Cyprus. But living the dream isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. With the big day rapidly approaching, a roller-coaster of mishaps, misunderstandings, and disasters threatens to turn the newlyweds into nearlyweds. Can Helen prevent an assassination, and have the perfect wedding?

“If you are a fan of Sophie Kinsella I am positive you will love MY PERFECT WEDDING by Sibel Hodge"
~ Geeky Girl Books


SADIE’S GUIDE TO CATCHING KILLERS
Zané Sachs (the demented alter-ego of author, Suzanne Tyrpak)
Sadie may seem like the girl next door—except she isn’t. At age eight, when she finds Mommy in the bathtub in a pool of blood, Sadie becomes obsessed with bringing down murderers. SADIE’S GUIDE TO CATCHING KILLERS is the prekill to SADIE THE SADIST: X-tremely Black Humor/Horror, delving into Sadie’s twisted childhood to unravel what makes her the psycho we know and love.
Plus, Advice from L’il Sadie, Self-Help BONUS : 10 Signs Someone is a Low-Life Liar; 10 Ways to Your Dream Confession; 10 Useful Household Poisons, and more!

NEW RELEASE! A twisted coming-of-age story, Black Humor/Horror.


BEING LIGHT
Helen Smith
When her husband doesn’t come home, Sheila Travers hires a private detective to find him. Being Light is no ordinary detective story. The sharp observations on the lives of modern women will have you laughing out loud as you follow the surreal adventures of the ensemble cast. Take in circus performers, animal rights activists, philosophers, dreamers and a new kind of dating agency in this joyfully funny book. And find out what happened to Roy.

"Very funny!" ~ Times Literary Supplement


FOOD OF LOVE
Anne R. Allen
After Princess Regina, a former supermodel, is ridiculed in the tabloids for gaining weight, someone tries to kill her. She suspects her royal husband wants to be rid of her, now she’s no longer model-thin. As she flees the mysterious assassin, she discovers the world thinks she is dead, and seeks refuge with the only person she can trust, Rev. Cady Stanton,a right-wing talk show host who has romantic and weight issues of her own.

“A mix as bubbly as a double chocolate milk shake. Pack this one to add punch to your holiday reading.” ~ South Yorkshire Times


All yours in a Six Pack of Sleuths!